For too long this weight’s been sitting on my head, tugging at my brain and crapping all over my aspirations. But then, as they say – “give a pigeon a perch and shit follows'”…!
You see, over the past couple of months I’ve come to realise that the outcome of this quest of mine to ‘follow the Dream’ and eke out an living as a ‘professional artist’ is sadly looking quite bleak and the hollow call of commerce is echoing louder and louder in my ears as the financial well runs dry. I’ve discovered that ‘Art’ and ‘Recession’ aren’t good bedmates. Also, my journey has forced my dear dependents to feast on the fruit of my ambition – which frequently has bellies rumbling (and bankers grumbling!).
Personally I don’t have any overwhelming desire to amass a fortune (…wouldn’t say no to it though!), after all ‘money’ doesn’t guarantee ‘happiness’ does it? Having said that I’d prefer to be rich and unhappy, than poor and unhappy! I’m now of the opinion that the ‘destitute artist’ concept is better suited to the young passionate artist who spits in the face of wealth and decadence (in other words they’ve probably feck all debts!). Destitution is not really suitable for the more ‘mature of age’ artist who’s efforts to soar are quickly grounded by historical (hysterical) financial constraints such as the “lets buy a house in Enniskerry” massive mortgage, or the “have to have” life, health, house, motor insurances….etcetera, etcetera, et-bleeding-cetera!
I’ve got to admit that I’ve revelled in my successes (Sineád’s album cover being well up on the list) and have basked in the praise I’ve received for my paintings since I embarked on this quest in 2008. I could be busy 24/7 exploring the vast landscape of art, making up for all the years I was riding the corporate bus. I could live out the rest of my days on the meagre earnings from paint, brush and imagination – couldn’t be happier. However bill’s must be paid and the Condron clan need to survive.
The old faithful ‘self portrait’ is a great conduit for self-assessment. It forces you to look at yourself both technically and emotionally – your expression, your mood and especially your thoughts. You study yourself through the ‘intimate’ eyes of a third party and your obedient hand translates what they see – and those eyes never lie. That’s when I first discovered the pigeon! I’d primed the canvas, mixed my paints and was poised with the brush – then I looked in the mirror and saw the problem – a big fat pigeon perched on my head and judging from its size and how ‘at home’ it seemed I guessed it had been there for quite a while and wasn’t in any hurry to leave….plus it was talking “follow the dream and starve the family, or follow the finance and go back to work” and that’s all it kept saying – over and over and over…..!
Then it happened, the ‘eureka’ moment… A few nights later while simultaneously painting the aforementioned portrait, contemplating my dilemma and sipping a glass of cheap shiraz, the head under the arse of the spewing bird looked at me straight in the eye and said “kid, you and me, we need to get out from under this shit – we need help, we need a hero? Then the flare exploded and illuminated the studio, and the pigeon shit itself…a hero…a patron…a WHITE KNIGHT!!”. The answer was there – all we needed was a ‘White Knight’ – a Patron of the arts, a Philanthropist – If it was good enough for daVinci it’s good enough for de Condron (ouch!). I’ll advertise on the great ‘world wide web’……
‘Mature Artist urgently seeks White Knight’.
Mature ’emerging’ artist (has own pigeon) with an evolving portfolio, proven ability and a passion to ‘follow the Dream’ seeks astute ‘White Knight’ (patron/philanthropist) with vision and a generous purse, for ‘professional’ long term relationship. I want to immerse myself in an exploration of ‘art’ and unearth my full creative potential without the limiting constraints of finance and its stifling consequence. You can enjoy the satisfaction that your financial support and trust can bring my aspirations to fruition and make that ‘Dream’ a reality! Put your ‘resources’ in my ‘art’ – let’s eat the pigeon…and continue this adventure together. I need your patronage. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org or visit http://www.condron.ie to see more!
Addendum: I think I’ll update my CV too (and continue to invest in the ‘Lotto’) and cover all the odds…and if my White Knight doesn’t come galloping over the hill and ‘the Dream’ needs to be shelved for a few years…well if so…so be it!